Fred Romano and Jim Stefanski became friends at an architectural firm where they worked in Chicago. A col-league invited them to go folk dancing one evening. This is where they met Ellen. The three became friends. Eventually, Ellen and Fred became a couple
Family folklore says that it was Jim’s idea that they pool their resources and purchase a house together. The neighborhood where they bought a three-flat had been quiet when they moved into it, but in the ten years they remained there, it became oppressively popular. Also, Ellen and Fred had decided to have a child and needed more room.
The three debated going separate ways, but decided to find another place together. In their new home, Jim occupies the flat downstairs and the Romanos live above. These old friends seem contented to be tied financially as well as emotionally.
After five years of trying in vain to have a baby, Ellen and Fred decided to adopt. Fred was 40 and Ellen 37 when they got five-day-old Annie. She has changed their lives in many ways, including that of limiting their former favorite pastimes of travel and theater. They also feel out of sync with their contemporaries who decided to forego having children or whose children are grown.
For Ellen, having a child brings up her own childhood issues. Ten days after Ellen was born, her mother died of an aneurysm. She was raised by her paternal grandmother until her father remarried. Her relationship with her volatile, alcoholic stepmother was an unhappy one. She found comfort only with her grandmother.
Fred and Jim, on the other hand, had relatively happy childhoods. Fred was the younger of two children and grew up in a “traditional” household in which his mother stayed at home. His extended family consisted of his father’s friends, pals who remained close for their entire lives.
Jim grew up as an only child in a small Indiana town. Similarly to Fred, he enjoyed the support and friendship of his parents’ friends. He knew everybody in the town and remains close to many of his old friends and schoolmates to this day. It was not until the Romano’s adopted Annie that Jim told them that he too was adopted. He is her somewhat bemused, doting uncle.
Ellen, Fred, and Jim consider themselves a family. They have been friends for many years now. They are about the same age, share similar values and interests, and are financially linked because of the home they co-own.
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